celebrate kindness

Last weekend as my husband and I toured the city of Washington, D.C., we spent several hours paying our respect to the fallen at Arlington Cemetery.

Words cannot do justice to the emotions I had walking through this place, seeing row after row of perfectly aligned headstones, chiseled marble glistening in the warm sunshine.

Fathers. Sons. Boys. Babies. So many lives lost all in the name of freedom. Yes, there were women laid to rest here as well, but I was overwhelmed by the sheer mass of men whose lives stared back at me with simple timeline markers of birth and death.

The day before, I had toured the Smithsonian American History Museum which grouped their artifacts and stories chronologically by war. The American Revolution, fighting for our initial independence from England; the Civil War, fighting for equality (a struggle we still embody in various levels today)… world wars, cold wars, foreign wars… so much blood shed in the name of freedom.

Incomprehensible.

Like many of you reading this blog post, I was raised in a time where war was a subject you studied in History class. Although there were global conflicts raging throughout my childhood and teenage years, I was greatly protected in mind, body, and soul from such horrors. Call me naive, sheltered, unaware (all of which carry a sliver of truth)… War just didn’t impact me then the way it does now.

I have family members who have sacrificed their time serving our country. My grandfather. My father-in-law. My husband. Cousins. Friends. I don’t think the reality of loss in combat truly affected me until I lost someone I knew. Ten and a half years ago, as I was flipping through my hometown newspaper to find my baby’s birth announcement I saw one of my elementary school classmates listed in the obituaries. Talk about incomprehensible. The day after my baby’s life began, my friend’s life was over, all because his commitment to freedom included the risk of death.

Oh. The. Tears.

It was in that moment right there, holding my hometown newspaper, staring back at that baby-faced boy-turned-man, that I was humbled. Crushed. Educated. Never, ever, would I be the same.

We all have those pinnacle moments when time stands still, and our memory is frozen in time. For me, it will always be the death of JR. I wrote his mom a card and included a photo of my infant son, Daniel, thanking her for her son’s sacrifice and sharing my favorite memories of this amazing guy who always loved to make people laugh. If it wasn’t for JR and the hundreds of thousands of boys before him, I would not be able to sit here today, sharing my simple thoughts on Memorial Day.

Which brings me back to present day and my visit to Arlington Cemetery. As I made my way towards the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, I was in awe of how many veterans were sharing the same path. Dozens of older men, gray hair peeking from faded blue ball caps marked by their various military units, being pushed in wheelchairs towards the same destination.

As I turned the corner of the path, I realized one such veteran was beside me, so close that I could practically reach out and touch his shoulder. The smile on his weathered face radiated one simple emotion: pride.

I don’t know what struck me in that moment, but without hesitation I turned to the veteran beside me and leaned down towards his ear. “Thank you for your service,” I whispered with a smile. It was only five words, but oh, the weight those words held. I wasn’t just thanking him, but I was thanking JR and all those who came before him for the sacrifices they made for our country’s freedom.

This morning as my family stopped by a Dunkin’ Donuts on our way to meet friends at the beach, I saw a small group of older men, chatting animatedly in the back corner. One man’s ball cap caught my eye and I had to chuckle. Here was yet another opportunity to be kind to a veteran.

So what did I do? I bought them a box of donut holes, shook their hands, and thanked them for their service as my ten year old did the same.

Respect is learned through the words and actions of others. I hope if you see a veteran today you will be inspired to say “Thanks.” It’s the least we can do. 🙂

Sometimes in the midst of all my random acts of kindness, I get thrown for a loop by someone blessing me instead.  It’s always a funny feeling being on the receiving end of a RAK.  For starters I absolutely LOVE surprises, so this alone makes my day no matter what RAK is being done!  Second, I am learning how to be gracious in acceptance… for so many years I would push away kindness as if it was an unwelcome obligation someone was doing for me.  It wasn’t until I had a dear friend look me straight in the eyes and say, “Look.  Here’s the deal.  You know how wonderful it feels to do something nice for someone else.  Why are you taking that joy away from ME?” Whoa!  Talk about perspective!  Since that conversation, I have tried really hard to simply enjoy the moment (whatever it may be) and remember that RAKs are actually about TWO people, not one!

This week, I was blessed by not one RAK, but two!  Seriously?!  That’s crazy!  Earlier in the week when I went to tutor a student at his home, his mom, Rachael, had already made me dinner for the night.  “I really made it last week, but I put it in the freezer because I knew you’d be back today!” It was a HUGE casserole dish filled with spaghetti and homemade sauce (so yummy!) and her son made the sweetest card in appreciation of the help I was giving him with tutoring and an upcoming project in school.

It was such a thoughtful and unexpected gift!  And let me tell you – it totally saved me, too, because that night was crazy with taking kids here and there to practices and activities – if it wasn’t for Rachael’s generosity, my family may have been making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for themselves instead!

I saw a neat pin on Pinterest this week that reminded me of this RAK… I think I will do it soon to pay-it-forward!

My next RAK received was the following night – the night I actually did the Rainy Day Joy RAK.  I got home much later than normal, following an evening meeting across town, and as I was walking up the steps to put my youngest child to bed, I noticed a small cardboard box waiting at the foot of the stairs addressed to me.  “FRAGILE” was labeled on the side in handwritten letters and I could see from the return address it was a package from my sweet friend, Sarah, who lives about 2 hours away.

A photo of me and Sarah from our last visit together

After getting my kiddos settled into bed, I returned back downstairs and eagerly opened the box.  “What on earth did Sarah send me… and why??”  Even as the scissors sliced through the packing tape, I was wracking my brain to think of something I had loaned her or left after our last visit together… I was completely perplexed!  Inside the box was a bulging gift bag overflowing with yellow tissue paper and a card addressed to me.

Sarah’s package to me

Sarah’s sweet card

What in the world?!  Sarah sent me a gift to celebrate my milestone accomplishment of 100 Random Acts of Kindness!  Right then I got a lump in my throat.  Her card was so very sweet, words spoken from the heart, and it made me naively realize, yet again, that these RAKs matter!  You DO read my stories!  WOW!  And best of all, what’s important to me is valued by many of you as well.  How blessed I am to have so many wonderful cheerleaders and encouragers in my life!

As I opened the bag (and wondered to myself, “What is fragile?”), I saw that Sarah had individually wrapped several items in tissue paper.  Each item was silly and magnificent as Sarah had used post-it notes to explain the purpose behind each item given.  “Mommy, what is so funny?” my daughter asked as my unfiltered laughter interrupted her homework.  I could barely talk through the giggles.  “Look!” I said, pointing at the ziplock bags, “I wrote about how it seems like I always have ziplock bags in my car because they magically seem to appear when I need them – now I really DO have ziplock bags to keep in my car!”  She shared in my excitement as I opened yet another surprise.  “And look!  Post-it notes!  Bahahahaha!  I LOVE post-it notes!!”  All of a sudden it hit me.  I needed to be sharing this joy with Sarah!

So I called her cell number (even though it was late and I knew she would be asleep) and I left a rambling, laughter filled message on her voicemail. “I wanted to open the presents with you because I wanted to you see how fun this is!  Thank you so much!  You are such a wonderful friend!”  It was merely a snapshot of my moment, but I wanted her to experience the pure JOY that was flowing out of me with her gift.

My sweet gifts

Then I came to the very last gift, wrapped so carefully in paper.  As I gently removed the covering, the lump in my throat returned once again as I tried to read through my tear-filled eyes.

Sarah had purchased and painted a small cup and included the little note “To Bless Your Heart… as you have blessed mine and many more 100 times!”  It was such a sweet gift.  Right there in that moment, I couldn’t make a single sound as the tears flowed down my cheeks.

Sometimes it’s important to remind ourselves that we are, in fact, special to others.  We are needed.  We are appreciated.  It’s so easy to get caught up in all the ways of this world without even a second thought to those closest around us.  This gift from Sarah, along with the dinner from Rachael, reminded me that I am possibly the most blessed gal in town.   🙂

So in an effort to pay it forward, this is what I decided to do with the beautiful cup Sarah made for me:

I made a “Pay-it-Forward” Candy Jar for my desk at work.  It’s for any teacher who needs a little pick-me-up, with the only requirement that if they take a piece of candy, they will pay-it-forward by doing something nice for someone else.  Today, not even 24 hours later, this is all the chocolate that remains:

How fun it would be if everyone who took a piece of candy, commented on this blog of things they did to be kind to others.  After all, sharing our experiences with someone else is half the fun!  Now I need to make a trip to the store to buy more candy!

I hope you have a wonderful evening (or day depending on when you are reading this) and may you do something unexpectedly kind for a friend. The impact of your action will carry joy in their heart for weeks to come!  🙂